Transcending Mormonism: Transgender Experiences in the LDS Church

In 1980, LDS authorities used the term “transsexual” for first time publicly when they prohibited “transsexual operations” in their official General Handbook of Instructions. They made clear that “members who have undergone transsexual operations must be excommunicated” and “after excommunication such a person is not eligible baptism.”1 Such harsh policies were rooted broader ambience strict boundary enforcement male–female gender binary patriarchal hierarchy. This gender-based power structure relied (and still relies) on biologically theologically essential claims sexual difference while paradoxically asserting perpetual malleability fluidity performance behavior.2 other words, leaders simultaneously framed as immutable contingent product culture, practice, environment.3 However, because Church among conservative movements was focused more culturally politically salient issue homosexuality, mentions trans issues remained scarce many decades.In 2020 Handbook, added detail than ever before regarding issues.4 Some additions seemed to show increased compassion inclusion individuals, others doubled down long-standing discriminatory punish transitional surgeries.5 addition, “social transitioning” would grounds membership restrictions6 (i.e., discipline), new policy has raised questions about how boundaries nonconformity will policed Church. To make legible an identity (or identities) currently little no semantic or symbolic space theology, Mormons conscientiously negotiate relationship between religious identities, process often involves conflict, pain, despair.7Desiring better understand people are navigating these complex negotiations, I interviewed seven and/or nonconforming eighteen forty-four years old living various regions United States part my graduate studies at Sarah Lawrence College New York. All participants identified white, liberal, either current former college students.8 referred with pseudonyms protect anonymity. Six interviews one-time hour-long conversations via Zoom, one interview individual refer Juliana (age forty-four) written exchange consisted several emails. Analyses from intermingled throughout purpose highlighting some nuances, complexities, differences exist across Mormon experiences.In order present sufficient contextual background, provide brief history homosexuality post–World War II Next, discuss depth specific ways which interviewees negotiating making meaning identities context experiences. then describe important evolution affecting individuals propose institutional theological suggestions creating inclusive affirming all within Ultimately, beauty diversity experiences calls restructuring cissexist heterosexist reimagining theology moral character eternal glory dependent one's romantic relationships.Before delving into those interviewed, overview elites constructed classification schemes perpetually position non-heteronormative deficient, oppositional, sinful, sociological phenomenon by Michael Schwalbe “oppressive othering.”9 As gay lesbian liberation gained social political momentum late 1950s 60s, began harshly condemning later transgender experiences) it confuses roles fundamentally defies God's universal plan.10Because around what we now call “transgender” did linguistic until latter twentieth century, minorities “homosexuals.” fact, words “homosexual” “homosexuality” appeared public speech authority 1952.11 Throughout half had begun punishing alleged “sodomites,” excommunicating members found guilty “the crime against nature.” even organized “witch hunts,” where officials hunted interrogated allegedly homosexual men, enacting disciplinary action upon individuals.12Rhetoric became increasingly during 60s.13 Spencer W. Kimball, prominent mid-twentieth century figure leadership, after discovering Christian groups started reaching out homosexuals, stated: “Voices cry them. Ours cannot remain silent. great Moses, perversions abomination defilement worthy death. Paul, unnatural, unmanly, ungodly, dishonorable passion adulterous nature close doors kingdom.”14 His stern condemnations top-down campaign viral contagion serious threat individual, familial, societal well-being, required urgent treatment forceful eradication.15 line middle-class notions respectability, frequently positioned decaying fabric American society antithetical happy, successful family life. doing so, leveraged host “homosexuality causes” do poor parenting, abuse, masturbation, pornography, confusion roles, things.16Exposure pornography especially prevalent explanation. For example, Victor Brown once said worldwide church audience: “A normal twelve- thirteen-year-old boy girl exposed pornographic literature could develop homosexual. You can take healthy boys girls exposing them abnormalities virtually crystallize settle habits.”17 Echoing traditional fears concerning well knowledge experimentation,18 argued transgressions like literally cause homosexuality. These oppressive frameworks, grounded psychodynamic theories fluidity, paved way widespread practice aversion therapy reparative (reparative sometimes conversion therapy).The general assumption explained “how someone . become begin with” offered “a plan embrace heterosexuality.”19 Aversion therapy, most notably practiced Brigham Young University least 1970s, may electroshock programs, nausea-inducing chemical treatments, dehumanizing methods attempt change orientation people.20 Reparative less aggressive forms efforts persisted decades today.21 Under guise healing helping “overcome disease”22 through variety methods, justified inhumane torturous obliterate whole.Central idea divine characteristic assigned God premortal semi-canonical 1995 document called “The Family: A Proclamation World,” top declare “gender premortal, mortal, purpose.”23 also explicitly outline believe God-given male female roles: “By design, fathers preside over families love righteousness responsible necessities life protection families. Mothers primarily nurture children.”24 Within this framework, domestic labor economic opportunity appeals “divine order.”This example Raewyn Connell refers regime,” particular configuration relations based gendered divisions. She further explains construction maintenance regimes utilizes “strategic essentialism,” explanations origin supposedly innate differences.25 concludes “most stories but mythmaking, serves justify view present.”26Although modern surface presented begins existence, devoted tremendous effort resources regulating political, legal, cultural norms.27 On hand, claimed natural self-evident, provided tireless cautions contingency performance.28 if norms, performativity always risk failure, confusion, alteration—a times been implicated result) homosexuality.29Notwithstanding contradictions, long supported frameworks domesticate subordinate women empowering enriching men.30 More egalitarian marriage entered teachings recent decades, something Taylor Petrey “soft egalitarianism,” men “preside” home Church.31 And since there strong emphasis conformity obedience Church, internalize mid-twentieth-century divisions tend feel fortified faith.32Along emergence rhetoric targeting 1950s, describing completely interchangeable biological sex. (perhaps very recently33) collapsed sex concept, ideology well-accepted feminist anthropological arguments distinguished (meaning bodies) socially “gender” norms vary dramatically culture time).34 result, (including identity, expression, roles) outgrowth Similarly, heterosexual attraction/desire assumed predetermined, sex.35 scheme essentialism, indistinguishably entangles sex, conceptualized direct result cause) concept nineteenth-century psychologists inversion.” Kimball put way: Every form sin ignorant vicious apparently attempting destroy masculinity femininity. dress, groom, act men. women. The high purposes damaged destroyed growing unisex theory. man his own image, he With relatively few accidents nature, born female. Lord knew best. Certainly, status answer Maker.36These arguments, persist today, rely stereotypical depictions atypically reinforce conflating gender, sexualities.37 assumptions both leads results “attack” enforce deviance. Interestingly, Kimball's language equates homosexuals “change status.” rendered same” involve rejection norms.”38 Not only does ignore multitude span gay/lesbian experiences, fact identify gay/lesbian, goal reducing illegible minority contexts.Throughout interviews, quickly noticed construct means “trans” differently. broadly, ideas coming being out), itself contradict another.39 portray personal renegotiate) emphasize vast contained “trans Mormon.”The tinted phone booth analogy descriptions her “female spirit” trapped inside body. capture so powerfully. consider herself “out” goes “Julian” work, home, church, friends. count hand know internal sense femaleness. Like Mormons, navigate series complex, sensitive, painful decisions she wishes be.Out Juliana's description woman body perhaps familiar conventional discussing It note middle-aged whom spoke, ages twenty-five. While significant percentage younger generations experience transness binary, compared older generations, common millennial Gen Z subvert outside binary. statistically easier likely stealth hidden) identity.41 generational understandable considering substantively different climates past acceptance non-cisgender identities.The spoke revealed intricate thoughtful constructing Mormon, particularly, felt concept. Several existing described instance, explaining fervent wish allow spirit free, said: name Julian, heart acutely Juliana. try hard attend participate elders quorum [church group designated men]. My wishes, however, Relief Society women]. bear numbing frustration, feeling need wear button-up shirt necktie, wearing mainly ties pink them; though yearns wearing, instead, cute dress necklace. But it's much clothes. It's sisterly connection.42As demonstrated moving excerpt, inextricably linked Her self built “being female” deeply yearning “do things,” attending meetings, having ties, necklace.” simply outward expression clothing choice. longs “sisterly connection” come surrounding women.Sarah twenty-three) birth underwent confirmation surgery, transitioning 2019. asked affirmed Church's stance created two genders—male Thus, believes gave wrong body: “While don't answers image. me situation, exactly happened, although reason body.”43 Sarah's belief mistakenly clothed disrupt firmness convictions theology—in harmoniously fits beliefs gender.Kevin twenty-two) member community specifically bigender. complexity got older, talk women, wished fantasies, myself, like, desiring sometimes. recently, I've realized, there's aspects desire. empathize lot kind sort middle just really fit either. heard themselves as, genderless blobs, things that. that's never felt. genders pulls either, instead of, pushed towards middle. So why stuck bigender label, seems best.44Unlike Juliana, Kevin feels pulled toward genders, desire masculine feminine varies space. way, “bigender” provides clarity stands contrast “genderless blob.”Emily describes between, concepts. explained: read connections to, realized strongly or, tied boy. Like, hair up. pull up lot, hat hide it. get, mistaken that, didn't bug me. particularly feel, super awesome okay, matter. friends nonbinary. “Oh, mean, yeah, feel. that.” So, I'm trying weird doesn't necessarily look Um, nonbinary, strictly girl.45Emily neutrality apathy expression. Being “mistaken boy” neither good nor bad self-image. “don't label” all.Beth eighteen) limited encompasses broad spectrum identities.Many Beth validate benevolent “doesn't mistakes.”47 whose falls articulately affirms author creator types Embedded lack thereof) tainted sociohistorical constructions limiting schemas.48 altogether explain “eternal gender” framework.49 reflects attitudes communities, advocate abolition altogether, yet assimilation previously structures.50 Kevin, resist avoid use umbrella using terms genderqueer, bigender, gender-free, agender meaning.51 gender-variant prefer all, complexifies usage spaces occupy occupy).Several committed relationships interview, including Sarah, difficulty articulating our exchange. At point, boyfriend puts ambiguous comes identity: “To honest, am sure is. Most time, straight dating guy, ask pan? Or maybe bi?”52 curiosity uncertainty notable, appear concerned it.Like Theresa twenty-five), finds ambiguity identity. “And phases guys? Do Am who's confused? ours—and mean heteronormative general—it confusing your is.”53 Acknowledging defining points pressures influence development labels decide adopt. interesting wonder “lesbian confused,” notion hyperextension, extremized version, final result” homosexuality.54 Indeed, Theresa's difficulties expressing reveal conceptual interplay sexuality. Their demonstrate ongoing appraisal partner's reveals overlapping embedded categories.55The characterized concepts variation. private involving careful when, whom, disclose bring again analogy, remove tint windows restructure choice “trapped” inside. “I nervous share secret. What longer accepted job, children hurt shamed? worry terribly. ready everyone yet, think might already together.”56 social, professional crumble public. presents normatively wears men's clothes, uses typical mannerisms), suspicious “secret.” imagine hypersensitivity out, indication immense fear anxiety thought finding identity.For others, physical transition type coming-out, it, out.”57 When out,” emphasized altered appearances, hormonal treatment, create constant state “outness,” relevant. running errands somebody standing tech store, back facing door came in. sales associates I'll right you.” guy “Oh worries, first.” whoa. couldn't stop smiling. can't perceived slightly androgynous. dysphoria, euphoria, you know, able androgynous, nonbinary androgynous aren't equal, makes happy.58Even identifies “perceived androgynous.” “he” store shows Beth's verbalizing declaring certain others. euphoria” opposed dysphoria correctly perceive context.For some, identifying crucial all-encompassing self, takes small nonexistent space.59 reflected phenomenon, articulated salience transness) significantly ways. examples, Emily, About year ago question gender. weird, because, comfortable presenting pretty sometimes, nails done and, go Emily. masculine, rolled Sometimes will, automatically they/them pronouns in, ways, myself any identity.60For connected label. “transition” links binary.Kevin, figuring [term] label under umbrella. definitely community. I, closest similar case online trans. music liked same emotions themes exploring.61Although tentative terms,